Payback’s a bitch!

6 years a slave to CFS

During my 6 years of struggling with CFS through university, 3 jobs and 3 home moves, one of the things that always seemed strange to me, was that I could be exhausted, have aches and pains and other horrendous symptoms but if I did something I enjoyed like seeing a friend or painting a picture or even if I made it on holiday, for the most part, I felt a lot better and energised for it.

Payback’s a bitch

What I did find though was soon after doing one of these fun activities or coming back from holiday, I would get payback. The fatigue, aches, sound sensitivity and other symptoms would rapidly return.

I would just think to myself

“Paybacks a bitch…I’ve had some fun, now my body is paying me back for overdoing it.”

How wrong could I be!

Taking things into my own hands

In 2005, I’d had enough of the illness and was unhappy in my marketing job in London and felt it was time for a change…a big change. So I packed up my flat and decided to take a year out in Australia.

I was no longer the meticulous planner I’d always been. I left with no itinerary and no plan for my year-long trip, just a friends place to stay and the idea of a fresh start.

The more time I spent in Aus, the better I seemed to feel. I would manage to go for a run or surf or see my new friends and wasn’t getting the payback I was expecting.

I was still left with a raft of symptoms from intolerances to muscle pains though.

I discovered a therapy from someone back in the UK, it all seemed to click for me and a month later I found myself in New Zealand, training in it!

Rapidly I found my remaining symptoms go and understood why I’d been making good progress through things I’d already put in place like self-care and setting boundaries.

No payback!

One of the most important things I learned now using Health Recovery Therapy, is that the body doesn’t pay us back with symptoms for doing things we enjoy.

“Ah”, I hear you say, “but then why do I get symptoms after the fun stuff?”

The simple answer is that the body wants more… more fun, more variety, not our same old routine. If it sees us do something fun, it just wants more!

Obviously in Health Recovery Therapy there is more to it and we need to address any other negative emotions including any lack of fulfilment and boredom, but the great thing is not having to pace myself as long as I rest when I get a regular healthy tiredness.

Not so long ago I did a 65 mile charity bike ride and you guested it… no payback!